I'm in a waiting game right now here at the Manor. I've been at the Big-Break bus stop since last November. Yes, almost one whole year. And if there's anything worse than being in such a place, it's being there alone. So in the face if it all getting a bit too much, I'm sharing with you. If it should fall through... then I can at least weep among friends.
The hoops I've jumped through have been many. It's all part of growing a business though, and so I embraced what was required of me. It's been frightening, and it's also been exciting. It's been a roller coaster of a thrill ride, that's for sure. Product submission, forms, e-files, forms, ingredient compliance, more e-files, bar code registration, label redesigns, new bottles, and ohh... bless my techy guy husband.
Yesterday morning, Manor Hall products were loaded into the database of a big household name supermarket chain store. I think the "Can't Be Happening" excursion stops today for me. I think it is happening. I think the Big-Break bus is finally pulling into the station, and it's time to believe.
Fear. Excitement. Doubt. Hope. Elation. Ohhh... what I'm feeling this morning is just a giddiness of so many emotions that my knees won't stop wobbling. I've been up most of the night, and I've lost count of the amount of times I have sat with my hands cupping my mouth and nose, lost in a tremendous feeling of "You gotta be kidding me, right?".
I'm just Susan Mann. I have a little soap company called Manor Hall Soap that has grown slowly since 2004. This year started with Jason having major bowel surgery. I've had a frozen soaping shoulder for most of it. And through it all, someone who didn't know anything about me has had faith in my Manor Hall. I am seriously over-whelmed.
So... I broke out the big percussion when I walked into the workshop this morning, and put the music on. As always, it's on reapeat, and it's loud. If I'm jinxing things, then that's the way it will be. I've kept my emotions in check for almost twelve long months while I did what was required for each phase. Personal life creating demands often, and spreading myself thin on the ground. I'm sorry... but after being up half the night in tears of total disbelief, it's time to start believing in myself. The year will soon be over. Jason is well. So am I. And I believe I am holding a ticket for the Big Break Bus.
This might be the only chance I get to sing this song with such belief. Enjoy it. Play it loud. And if you have kids, you'll love the video. I don't know Maisie and Jenny, but they are awesome! So, please sing with me as I wait for the bus to pull up. It won't be long now. "A-hah, a-hah, a-hah..."
The Proclaimers, 1988/89 - I'm On My Way
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